Overcoming a Fear of Flying

My Journey with the Fear of Flying

For more years than I’d like to admit, I’ve dealt with crippling anxiety when it comes to flying. 

It started in my mid-twenties on a turbulent flight to Chicago. At one point, the captain came over the intercom and said, “These are challenging skies,” and something in me snapped. Challenging skies? Suddenly my mind spiraled, and somewhere over the Midwest, I experienced my first-ever panic attack. 

What made it even more confusing was that, before that flight, I had flown hundreds of times. I’d traveled internationally, flown on tiny planes, endured bumpy landings, and never once felt afraid. But after that moment, everything changed. Just the thought of stepping onto a plane would make my heart race, my palms sweat, and my thoughts run wild. 

For my 30th birthday, my husband surprised me with a trip to New York City. The flight there was fine, but there were storms forecasted on our way home. I was so afraid that we took a train from NYC to Raleigh (our home) instead. Another time, after a rough flight into Atlanta, I simply couldn't bring myself to step onto one more plane, so I took a three-hour Uber ride to my final destination. 

Facing My Fears

Over the last year, flying has become necessary for my work. Because of that, I've had to confront this fear head-on. I didn't want to live in a chronic state of anxiety, constantly dreading something that has become a part of my calling. 

And by God's grace, something has changed. 

I no longer feel crippling anxiety while flying or in the days leading up to it. It truly feels like a miracle. Last week, I was flying home from an event at night, looking out the window at city lights below, and I thought, I’m actually enjoying this. It feels kind of cozy! It was then I realized just how far I've come.

Do I love turbulence? Not at all. But I’ve learned practical strategies that help me move through it without panic. I praise God that I am no longer held captive by this fear!

You're Not Alone

When I shared my struggle on Instagram recently, more than 300 people responded, admitting they were paralyzed by the same fear. So I want to share what has helped me. This isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, but I hope you'll find encouragement and practical tools if you find yourself anxious about flying. 

A quick note before I continue: I'll mention a few supplements I have used that have helped me, but this is not medical advice. These are simply tools that have helped me manage anxiety and support my nervous system. Please consult your doctor before adding any vitamins or supplements to your routine.

What Has Helped Me as an Anxious Flyer

Before the flight… 

• Practice intentional perspective shifts. One of the biggest breakthroughs for me was reframing flying an act of obedience. God has called me to places, to people, and to work that sometimes require getting on a plane. Choosing not to fly out of fear would mean saying "no" to what He's asked of me. Another perspective shift I remind myself of often, especially during turbulence is this: Uncomfortable does not mean unsafe. Flying is far safer than driving. Statistically, your drive to the airport before your flight was the most dangerous part of your travel day. Here are a few statistics about the safety of flying that may help you. 

• Exercise regularly. This has made an enormous difference in my overall resilience. I lift weights five days a week (I use and love free Nourish Move Love workouts) and aim to walk 10,000 steps a day. On the days that I fly, I make sure to move as much as possible beforehand, walking laps through the airport before it’s time to board. It really helps discharge my nervous energy.

• Book a morning flight when possible. In my experience, early morning flights tend to be smoother. Warmer afternoon air is more prone to turbulence, so when I have a choice (which isn’t always possible), I opt for the earlier flight. I also like getting the flight over with and enjoying the rest of the day at my destination.

• Choose a seat that feels safest to you. For me, that’s a window seat toward the front of the plane. The front half of the plane typically experiences less movement during turbulence. My ideal seat is actually the bulkhead (the front row) on the right side, where I can easily see the flight attendants’ faces. I prefer a window seat because I like to see the horizon and gauge what is going on outside the plane. But you might prefer being in the aisle and not looking out the window at all. Choose what brings you the most peace.

• Read this book. This book is written by a compassionate and experienced pilot who breaks down every part of flying and puts your mind at ease. It was so helpful for me! One illustration that stuck with me compares the air at cruising speed to thick jello. Imagine a toy plane suspended in jello. Even if the jello shakes (turbulence), the plane doesn’t fall. It continues steadily forward. That visual helped my anxious mind so much.

• Consider supplements. The supplements that have helped me the most are L-Theanine (taken 30 to 60 minutes before the flight), Gelsemium when I’m feeling anticipatory anxiety on the days before the flight, and Magnesium Glycinate every night. Magnesium seems to work best when taken consistently over time.

• Prioritize sleep. An overtired body is far more reactive to stress. If at all possible, prioritize sleep the night before flying.

On the morning of the flight… 

• Take a cold shower. A friend introduced me to “contrast therapy, and it has been a game-changer. Sometimes, I've visited a sauna and then done a cold plunge. But on the morning of a flight, I start with warm water, then switch to the coldest setting for at least two minutes before turning the shower off. It immediately regulates my nervous system and lowers my baseline anxiety.

• Eat protein. Flying on an empty stomach makes my anxiety worse. Even if I don’t feel hungry, I make sure to eat something with protein to help stabilize my body.

During takeoff… 

• Pray. I pray before I leave for the airport, while boarding, and throughout the flight. Sometimes it’s as simple as, “Lord, help me.” God meets us in those moments with His peace. Thank God for the opportunity to travel and see new places. 

• Smile. This may sound silly, but it works. Smiling signals safety to your nervous system. I ask myself: What would I miss if I didn’t take this flight? What is waiting for me on the other side?

During the entirety of the flight… 

• Wear noise-cancelling headphones and play upbeat music. This is key. At first, I thought I wanted to hear all the sounds—the roar of the engines, the seatbelt sign going off and on, the conversation around me. But my husband suggested I wear these noise-cancelling headphones and play worship music, and it made an enormous difference. 

• Track the flight. I like watching the progress on the seat screen or my phone. Sometimes I even set a timer so I can see how much time is left. When there’s an hour remaining, I remind myself, I can do anything for an hour!

• Text someone on the ground. I have a friend who knows my struggle with flying and graciously texts me to check on me when I fly. It reminds me that life is continuing normally below.  It’s “grounding,” for lack of better words. 

• Practice Scripture that you’ve memorized. It gives your mind something helpful to hold onto when anxiety wants to take over. A few favorite Scriptures I've memorized: Psalm 91:1-2, Isaiah 41:10, 2 Timothy 1:7, Proverbs 3:5-6. 

During turbulence…

• Watch the flight attendants. Most of the time, they look relaxed or bored, which is incredibly reassuring. If they’re up doing drink service, it’s safe. This is just another day at work for them.

• Reframe turbulence as bumps in the road. On your way to the airport, notice how bumpy the drive is. You likely couldn’t hold an open cup of water without it sloshing everywhere. Yet on a plane, even during turbulence, an open cup may slosh but won’t spill. That perspective helps. Sometimes, I close my eyes and think, “I’m on a bus and these are just bumps in the road.” Turbulence is not dangerous. It’s just uncomfortable. Pilots will not stay on a turbulent path for long. They’ll often seek a new altitude in order to minimize discomfort for their passengers. 

• Practice deep breathing. As soon as turbulence begins, I breathe in for four seconds, hold for two, and exhale for six. I repeat this until my body calms.

• Look at the horizon. It helps orient your body. Even during turbulence, the horizon doesn’t change, and you realize how little the plane is actually shifting.

• Count to 20. In my experience, the worst turbulence rarely lasts longer than 20 seconds. Counting gives your mind something concrete to focus on. By God’s grace, I don’t need this tool anymore, but it was invaluable at the height of my anxiety.

No longer letting fear win

I still feel anxious at times. But I no longer dread booking flights or spend days leading up to them in fear. I don’t love turbulence, but I no longer experience waves of adrenaline when it happens. By God’s grace and through these practical tools, fear no longer has the final word. (Praise God!)

Dear friend, God is just as present at 35,000 feet as He is on solid ground. 

If fear has been keeping you from flying, my prayer is that you wouldn’t only ask, “What if something goes wrong?” but, “What might I miss if I don’t go?” Even if you don’t feel brave, I pray you’ll board anyway, trusting that God is with you in every moment.

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